Be An Intentional Mom or Dad

Being the best parent you can be

It was once said "Any man can be a Father but it takes somebody special to become a daddy"

I'd say anyone can drop an egg or donate sperm and many do just that but being a mommy or a daddy takes daily choices for a lifetime."

When I became a Father for the first time, I took that little boy in my arms, looked into his big brown eyes, felt his squishy soft skin on my fingertips attached to his fragile frame and as I held him I thought to myself "I sure hope I am a good dad".

What did I mean when I had that thought? I meant, "I want to be a successful dad."

Have you ever wanted to be successful at something? So how does one define success at something like parenthood?

Read a book? There are thousands of books on parenting with all kinds of strategies on discipline, engaging, communicating etc...but as much as we as parents can get excited about these techniques and strategies I feel many of us wind up falling short in many more moments than we'd want to admit.

A Normal Day Doing Dishes At Home Just the other day I was doing the dishes myself instead of having my 12 year old and 11 year old do them. Yes, they are perfectly capable. But while I was doing them, I was listening to them bicker….arguing about nothing!!! Instead of turning around and helping them to use their words more intentionally and instructing them to help me and work together as a team, what did I do? I tried ignoring them. After a few minutes in an already stressful day, I lost it. I began yelling at them. “I am so sick and tired of hearing you guys argue and bicker and antagonize etc…etc…etc…I could dad gum scream….wait a second…I am screaming….and I don’t know why I am yelling at you guys cause I sure as heck am not teaching you anything good and besides that I love you darn kiddos.”

Can You Relate?

What if we approached Parenting as we do business, or schooling, or coaching?

Most business owners who have had long term sustained success in their business, when asked could likely take you to a set of original documents that laid out their ultimate vision and their steps to achieve their vision.

Most successful students can do the same and show you their progress and milestones achieved that moved them towards their goals.

Many people would consider Stephen Covey an author who typically writes to business people and leaders.

In his book The 7 habits of highly successful People Stephen Covey writes of Habit 2

Begin with the End in Mind

This means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen. One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement.

What does your end look like?

Write it down.

For example: My vision for my family is.........

What is yours and where is it written?

Now work backwards from there.

What milestones will you need to reach with your children to achieve your vision? Write them down.

What will you need to do daily and weekly to achieve those milestones?

Write those down.

And lastly, memorialize your vision and your goals to achieve your vision into something that you keep close in your family. Review it weekly with your children and/or your spouse...and just like Stephen Covey says, flex your proactive muscles to make things happen.

There are always outliers and things that you didn't anticipate that could never have been built in to your plan. Things that can derail even the most intentional parent.

But if you will keep your vision close and never lose sight of it and review it regularly, just like a good student does with his or her academic plan or a good entrepreneur does with his or her business, your chances of achieving that level of success you were aiming for will increase dramatically.

About 4 years ago I began noticing that my children had very little concept of money. I feared them getting out of the house and making poor decisions that caused them to incur lots of debt or worse.

So I created a plan to teach them. Today we call it "Bank".

I have a cash box that I keep all denominations of money in. It holds individual envelopes. 3 for each of them. Give, save and spend. It also holds a checkbook to our Langhofer Family Give account that we contribute to each week and vote on who or what to share with.

It also holds loan applications.

Yes I said it. They can apply and they each have and the interest rate our bank charges is INSANE!!!

Guess what. My kiddos hate hate hate credit!!!

Mission accomplished Dad!!! :-)

It just takes identifying those things that are most important to you as a parent and working out a plan to consistently teach and reinforce those principles. Then do it.

Best of luck Moms & Dads